by Dejay Tue Oct 09, 2012 4:10 pm
Haha. Alright, I'll go ahead and review this for you dude.
So the video starts out with what looks like Japanese warriors fighting. The ambiance and sound effects you added to that were perfect. Puts me right in the scene. Then, a man gets shot right next to his friend. The line "This is exactly why you do not frolic through battle fields" was great. I found that funny. Then the man goes on to scream in pain while his friend is surprisingly more cheerful than he should be. That in itself is funny. The dying man goes way over the top, screaming in pain, while his friend is arguing with him. This scene was just okay. But then he says as non enthusiastic as possible "you know what? Just kill me." It was funny how frantic he was a second ago and his annoying friend drove him to except his demise. Great stuff.
Then, a woman riding a horse comes in yelling "I have no idea what I'm doing!" I really didn't like the voice of the blonde haired woman. It just didn't sound good to me. I wish you would have got a good female VA to voice her. I think that would have been much more fitting.
The whole witty banter between the guy, the blonde haired woman, and the samurai was pretty 'meh' to be honest. The whole Walmart and Walrus reference was great though, although, random people who don't know you might not get the reference. The "One friendship party later" transition worked...but the on screen text transitions seem kind of like the easy way out to me. Granted, I used them heavily in the Soul Eater One-Shot, but it was best used there because of the 3 different stories all going on in one day.
The next scene was a silly scene all about opening doors. It made me smile, mainly because it was silly and I like silly humor, but it just didn't make me laugh. I liked the length of the scene, but I think the scene could have been done a little differently. Maybe more silly. I don't know.
It then cuts to the "Bad Guy HQ"
I think this brief moment could have used some menacing music. It would have worked well with the silliness of the mustached man. Speaking of which, the bald mustached man has to be my favorite character in this entire thing. He is the character that by far stands out the most because of his voice and down right silliness. When the Japanese markings pop up and he says "WHERE'D THIS TEXT COME FROM!?" That was perfect mainly because of how unexpected and silly that was. I just loved the rest of this scene with the back and forth between him and his underling. He's just so brash, I love it.
We then cut back to the brown haired guy and the blonde haired woman continuing their conversation about opening doors. I didn't really find that funny. Just didn't find it clever or witty. Then they get interrupted by a blue haired woman that sounds like a man. The whole 'woman sounds like a man' thing in abridging is a hit and miss with me. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't. It didn't really work here with me. I think it would have been funny if you gave him some kind of gimmick. Maybe make him a really creepy old guy that talks about Candy Cains. Or a really gay, flaming sounding guy who talks about being so manly, like trying to prove his manly-hood.
You then do a transition "3 Days Later". Now this wouldn't have worked for me initially, but you voiced over it saying "3 days later!" so enthusiastically. Just the way you delivered that was hilarious. The small banter between the blonde hair woman and the guy was okay. Nothing that special to me.
We then cut to the mustached man looking out of his hand held telescope. When he said "I CAN'T SEE OUTTA THIS THING!" I laughed. I just loved everything this guy said. However, the purple haired woman that sounds like a man is extremely uninteresting. It's the same thing with the blue haired woman like I said before.
The banter between the mustached man and his armed guards was great. The mustached man is so incredibly enthusiastic and the armed guards are extremely unenthusiastic, it's a perfect offset. I also enjoyed the super push in on the mustached mans eyes when he said "Ready the sea lion cannons!" The sound effect you added was perfect. I actually pictured a guy trying to stuff a walrus into a cannon.
It then cuts to all of the main characters sitting in an old style Japanese house. The dialog was just alright...UNTIL these lines were uttered:
"I won't stand for this!"
"but you're sitting down"
"I won't sit for this!"
Extremely clever and witty writing right there. I also loved how that was edited and voiced.
Then they make another opening doors reference. I didn't like it, however, this scene is an exception because of the mustached man.
I didn't really care for the whole "serve the cake" joke. I just thought it was 'meh'. However, the cut away to BaccanoTAS was awesome. It was a cut away that caught me completely by surprise.
The on screen text saying "she sat down again" with an arrow pointing to her sitting down was both good and bad. It was funny because I didn't expect it. Humor that catches you by surprise is often the funniest. However, it also felt kind of unnecessary. You could have of easily kept her standing. Or, you could have added a piece of dialog something like this:
Blonde Woman: Hey, do you mind if I sit down?
Mustached Man: How dare you request such things!!!
Blonde Woman: I don't give a damn, I'm sitting down anyway.
The final joke where they both laughed and decided to go to war with eachother again was good. Although I wish it ended a bit more silly. Like, maybe have the Mustached man scream something and the ending text screen/music cut him off before he finished.
To sum up:
The writing was like a roller coaster, it had it's ups and downs.
The voicing could have been a lot better. I think it would have been a lot better with a bigger cast and more VA talent brought to the table.
The sound mixing could have been a lot better. I like to keep the master volume track below -3db. I allow it to go up to 0.0db only when necessary. The sound mixing wasn't bad by any means, but it wasn't exceptional either.
Sound effect placement was spot on. Great job on that.
The editing was great. It wasn't amazing by any means, but it was still pretty darn good.
The entire thing was pretty good overall. I don't know why you're so hard on yourself. You put out good stuff and you keep improving all the time.
Anyway, I hope you've enjoyed my review! ^_^
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